My long wait turned into a short one!

from Julie, who is suddenly a mom after some tough times

I've been out of the loop for a while since my life has been a little hectic for the last month, but wanted to update the group on my newest family member!

Just as I was in the 2ww for my 7th IUI, I got confirmation that I had been chosen to adopt a little boy. That same week I had to put my 14 year old dog to sleep and my car was broken into and my purse stolen! Ugh! When it rains, it comes a torrential rain storm.

The birth mother is the daughter of a woman I work with. The grandma was aware of my miscarriage last year, my difficulty conceiving again, and how much I wanted to be a mom. She is also raising the other two children of the birth mother. She was encouraging her daughter to give this little one up for adoption as she is living on state assistance and presently not raising her other two children.

Her daughter struggled with her decision since April, when I first heard about her pregnancy. She made her final decision to give him to me only about 4 weeks ago. I thought I had until August 31st to get ready for him, but boy was I wrong. Luckily, my home study and FBI finger prints were completed just in the nick of time.

I was at work when I got the call that her water had broken and that I needed to meet her at the hospital. I got there in great time to be with her, just the two of us, and bond before my son made his debut. The grandmother and two of my dear friends made it just in time to help the birth mother push and watch him be born. The birth was amazing to be a part of. It was joyous and serene. We all laughed and cried together.

My son came out floppy and gave us all a scare. He wound up in the NICU right away and within a couple of hours needed to be transferred to another hospital for more specialized care. Where did he wind up but the very hospital and the very NICU where I work! Talk about surreal. It is really unusual to be walking the halls of my work place as a parent. He was 5 weeks early and got an infection coming through the birth canal. He has made great strides in the past 2 weeks and we should get sprung from the hospital on Saturday!

I will be keeping this an open adoption. I promised the birth mother that my son would know who she is as he grows. We have developed a deep trust and respect for each other in this short time. The birth mother is now hopeful for her future and plans to go to school and gain some working skills so that she can get her other two kids back and support them. I believe she will do it. I'm so happy she is talking about her future and trying to make good choices. She has already started the process by making the most loving decision possible for my son's future. She tells me she is at peace with her decision and knew from the first day she met me that her mind was made up. I was chosen!!! How lucky can a girl possibly be?!

The past 2 years have been no picnic for me in this fertility process. Many times I have lost my faith and failed to believe in such a thing as karma. Now, karma rushes toward me in a tidal wave. My joy is overwhelming. I couldn't be more in love with this child and I realize now that although I would have been happy to carry him for 10 months in my tummy, it absolutely doesn't matter that I didn't. I feel him coursing through my veins. He is part of my soul and he fills my heart to the point where I think it will burst inside my chest.

I pray for all of you in the Choice Mom struggle that something this joyous comes your way. I never dreamed it would happen for me. I felt it slipping from my grasp many times and felt despair at the possibility of living my life without experiencing motherhood. Keep your faith throughout your process. And if you can't, I'll keep it for you until you are ready to carry it again on your own.

Peace,
Julie and son