Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Enjoying the present

After a Choice Mom-in-the-making reported that she had finally conceived, she asked the community a series of questions about planning for the delivery. Christine chimed in with congratulations, and the following sage advice applicable to any woman who has been planning and waiting for the day she becomes Mom:

I smiled when I read your post, as it sounded like it could have been written by me four years ago!

I am also a planner, and when I discovered I finally had become pregnant the planning gene whirled into overdrive. The biggest obstacle (and one that delayed me from trying until I was 39) was childcare. As a firefighter, I work 24-hour shifts and I couldn't figure out how I was going to cover that when I returned to work. Now, realize I was lucky enough to be able to take 12 months off after the birth of my daughter, so she would be entering toddlerhood when I actually went back to work. I spent so much time during the pregancy worrying and trying to control these things. Early in my pregnancy I would be calling caregivers, trying to secure childcare 20 months down the road, and then wonder why they brushed me off!

Finally, about three months after my daughter's birth, I realized I was trying so hard to control the future I was missing the moment of the present. I made a conscious choice to let go of the worry and enjoy my daughter. Sure enough, about four months later a co-worker called me to tell me of a wonderful stay-at-home mom who expressed an interest in taking on my childcare challenge. She was the mother to four daughters, three of whom were almost grown and one who was seven at the time. It was the most perfect solution I could have ever hoped for, and one I would never have found on my own. What started as a childcare arrangement has grown into a family friendship, and I have watched my daughter benefit from both her immediate family and this wonderful extended family. My only sadness is that with school looming in the near future and the upcoming birth of #2, we are going to have to find another arrangement that is closer to our own home (I work in a different city than where I live).

I guess the moral of my situation is this: while it's great to plan, don't forget to take some time to be in the moment and enjoy the glory of this wonderful developing baby inside you. Things will get taken care of in the timeline they need to be, but you will never get this time back. You have plenty of time to address all of the questions and concerns you have, but you can only bask in the glow of the newly pregnant once.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

great post, thanks! I am a bit worried about future daycare options for my future son (near future now :) ). I will be able to take at least several months off from work.